how to turn matches into dates in 3 steps
can you create a repeatable system to turn matches into dates?
Absolutely.
After years on dating apps I’ve started seeing some patterns in my own success.
It really comes down to activating her from passive scrolling [through a stimulating opener that pushes the right buttons],
followed by building emotional connection through storytelling and mirroring.
Let’s break these things down into 3 actionable steps in this read.
//Marcus
This articles is based on the principles lined out in Effortless Attraction
Key Takeaways
Get deeper than everybody before you with a bullseye opener through the use of emotional elements [finding what takes up space in her mind through observation]
Make it stimulating chatting with you through the use of newness in words i.e. make up your own playful words or use unexpected wording.
Flow like water: Turn the most generic question into something fun and know when and how to transition to a new topic.
When you see the signs of emotional connections, make the ask [in a lighthearted way with minimal commitment].
step 1: Crafting a unique opener
Emotional Activation: Sure, you could start with a generic "Hey, how's it going?" But where's the fun in that? To truly stand out, delve deeper into your match's profile and photos. Look beyond the surface and try to tap into what makes them tick. Maybe they're a foodie who dreams of traveling the world or an adrenaline junkie always seeking their next adventure. By making thoughtful observations and crafting personalized openers, you'll show that you're genuinely interested in getting to know them.
Stimulating Language: Boring openers are a dime a dozen. To make yours memorable, infuse it with personality and flair. Use playful language, witty humor, or clever wordplay to spark intrigue. Show off your creativity and charm, and don't be afraid to think outside the box. Remember, you want to grab their attention and leave them eager to respond.
Transition into Conversation: So, you've sent the perfect opener and got a response—now what? Transitioning smoothly from the opener to a meaningful conversation is key. Pay attention to their responses and use them as springboards for further discussion. Share anecdotes, ask open-ended questions, and keep the dialogue flowing naturally. Remember, the goal is to build rapport and create a connection that goes beyond surface level.
step 02: Building Emotional Connection
Charismatic Texting: Charisma is the secret sauce that makes texting conversations come alive. It's about being confident, playful, and authentic in your communication. Share stories, express your passions, and let your personality shine through your messages. Show that you're not afraid to be yourself and that you're genuinely excited to chat with them.
Seamless Topic Transition: Ever been in a conversation that fizzled out because you couldn't think of what to say next? Transitioning between topics with ease is a skill worth mastering. Keep the conversation dynamic by introducing new subjects, asking follow-up questions, and finding common interests to explore. Remember, variety is the spice of life—and of texting.
Storytelling for Connection: Stories have a unique power to evoke emotion and build rapport. Use them to your advantage by sharing personal anecdotes that highlight your best qualities. Whether it's a funny anecdote from your latest adventure or a heartwarming tale from your childhood, storytelling allows you to connect with your match on a deeper level. Just be sure to keep it genuine and relatable.
STEP 03: Making the Ask
Proposing the Date: When the time feels right, don't hesitate to pop the question. Whether you suggest grabbing coffee at a cozy café or checking out the latest exhibit at a nearby museum, keep it casual and low-pressure. Remember, the goal is to spend time together and get to know each other better, so focus on creating a fun and relaxed atmosphere.
Final Thoughts: Turning a match into a date is all about making a connection and taking the leap. By following these tips and putting yourself out there, you'll increase your chances of turning a promising match into a memorable real-life encounter. So go ahead, send that witty opener, engage in meaningful conversation, and don't be afraid to ask them out. Who knows? You might just find yourself enjoying a fantastic date with someone special.
