How to ask for a girls number on Hinge
a 4-step system to get it every time
Making the ask becomes easy once you know emotional connection has been built.
You should still do it in a natural & lighthearted way but learning how to spark intrigue and craft that connection is crucial.
I’ll break down exactly how I do it on a repeatable basis below:
Key Takeaways
I highly recommend the S.E.M.C system when chatting to effectively turn your matches into dates. [Revealed below]
If you learn how to build momentum in the convo, asking for her number becomes very natural & easy. I break this down in a detailed way in Effortless Attraction with real convo examples
If you have a convo running already I’d transition into a date friendly topic like food and wine and ask her if she’d want to get a glass with you. If it’s a yes just ask for her number.
The S.E.M.C system
S -> Stimulate
E -> Engage
M -> Momentum
C -> Close [ask for the date followed by her number.
Let’s break each of these down.
01. Stimulate
Now I know you just want to ask for her number, but trust me when I say the amount of yes you’ll get depends highly on the quality of your interaction until you make the ask. Therefore, let’s start with how to best open a convo on Hinge that sets things up for success.
Pushing the right emotional buttons
Incredible openers are the ones that hit that emotional trigger. Finding that one thing that takes up the most space in her mind, and push that button.
The thing is, people are in a passive state when on dating apps. A lot of convos dies our because of being to generic.
Opening in a way that stimulates is the first key to emotional activation.
Observe
Observe her profile thoroughly, google her, find her Instagram and ask yourself if she seems intellectual, if she seems creative, if seems ambitious, if she seems as someone who just wants to have fun.
Once you’ve made this little analysis you adapt your opener. If she seems to focus on her goals and career maybe ask her: “Whats getting the most focus in your life atm?” I’ve written several chapters on this in effortless attraction so let’s just cut to the next step:
02. Engage
Whatever her first response is, you want to bring a lot of charisma, good vibes, and playfulness into the convo. Stimulate with newness in how you write, you want to make it a different experience chatting with you than with other dudes. The bar is quite low so it does not require a lot from you:
1. Use lesser-known synonyms
2. Highlight details [it’s charismatic]
3. Be “respondable”, always make sure you last line is either a question or a statement that’s easy to react to.
03. momentum
Now, optimally you want to get the convo to a point where the two of you are chatting back and forth in a very active state. This obviously takes some practice to get comfortable, cause you won’t have as much time to think about your responses. But this works magic in terms of getting numbers. Once the convo is peaking, transition naturally into date topics:
”I thought about something earlier.”
[wait for her response]
I’ve actually never been on a date in [insert her suburb].
”Are there any nice bars there?”
This is obviously just an example, know that YOU CAN absolutely just ask her out of the blue in a bold way if the engagement has been high.
”How about getting a glass next week?”
Being bold = sexy af. But never force it.
04. close - ask for her number
Now you pretty much sealed the deal already but in whatever way you transitioned into asking if she’s keen on getting a glass. If it’s a yes the next step you always be to ask for her number.
Because dates arranged inside Hinge are much more likely to get canceled than if you’ve proposed a specific time and place in text. It feels like a bigger commitment.
So closing in a two-step process:
Ask for the date
Ask for her number
Text her in the coming days to propose a bar/location and time for the date.
Good luck!
